Avoid Child Confrontation with Alternatives

MTV Parental Control 2008* "Dotsan"

Most parents must have encountered this situatioin at one time or another. Your child is playing with something they shouldn’t be playing with, or doing something that is potentially dangerous and when you try to stop them they throw a screaming tantrum.

The way in whcih parents deal with these sometimes frequent situations is one of the biggest trials that they must face. Children will develop social competence and self confidence if they are provided with tolerance and praise for their positive actions. But parents always need to remain in charge.

A toddler can typically be presented with up to 20 restrictions on their actions every hour. How would you like to be told what to do or what not to do once every three minutes?

Parental control is often needed when a child is doing what comes naturally but putting themselves or their peers at risk in the process. Playing with knives, bashing brothers or sisters with toys and fighting are all examples of how children will test their boundaries to investigate the world in which they live.

Giving the child an alternative can be an excellent way to allow them to continue to safely investigate and learn. For example, changing a metal knife for a plastic one might be all that is needed. Or let them find out how much it can hurt to be poked in the eye.

Alternatives can provide an effective way to head off a potentially tense situation, but they don’t always work. It’s a good idea to first acknowledge what the child is trying to do and then introduce them to the alternative. Its then important to engage the child with the alternative by using it yourself and makign it appear more attractive than whatever they were doing previously.

There will be plenty of occasions when you will not be in a position or able to offer alternatives and these will serve to educate your child that the world has its limits. Providing yourr children with appealing alternatives to dangerous or harmful behavior can be a great way to develop a positive relationship and teach them that other options often exist.

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I recommend camping as a great way to bond with children, to provide them with freedom to investigate the world around them and engage with their parents or carers. But always remember to ensure safety by using the right camping equipment. You may like to take part in a bushcraft course where children will learn a variety of skills including how to handle a bushcraft knife, start a fire without matches and tracking skills.